Why serve Chrianna? Why, Colonel? Why?!?!?!


That's why the Knowles family fucks with Popeyes. We can get people who know not to serve 5Ton4Head and her crew with our Bonafide chicken and wild rice at Popeyes. Fuck yo' Popcorn Chicken. Fuck yo' Popcorn Chicken.

NECOLE... WHY? WHY YOU GOTTA PARTAKE IN THIS PUBLICITY LOVE?

I am THIS close to blacklisting somebody from my clique of gorillas in black tees.

After a good eleven years at playing "crouching plastic surgery, hidden face at birth" Lil' Kim's natural look has finally emerged. I'm feeling this natural look. She don't look like Homey The Clown right now... so I'm giving her a gold star and a green light. Does anyone else think she favors Oprah a just little bit in the pic above? Maybe she's just smiling with her eyes.

My only question is... what happened to the Asian-lady mask she was wearing?

So today, the sixth of May two thousandth and eight, my ex-Bust It Baby FRESHLEY SNIPES celebrates that big 2-3. Yep, she's 23 today so there won't be a post today. We plan on hitting up every club from Idlewild to Savannah. I flew my Dereon-lined jet plane to Georgia and made a five day weekend just to kick it with baby girl. She won't join the my highly qualified line of "employess" but I'm still working on getting her a "membership".

But anyways... if you're interested about how the rest of the week may play out here's the scheduled itinerary:

Tuesday, 5:40 PM - I would have been done posting this post by then and on my way to my private hangar.

Tuesday, 5:59 PM - Me and my clique of gorillas dressed in black tees set foot on the tarmac. We bring Kizzy along (roll eyes here) to iron our drawz and throw away all prophylatics. Cause after we do what it do, we pull 'em off and throw the babies on the wall if you get my drift.

Wednesday, sometime after midnight - We arrive in Atlanta... I meet NECOLE BITCHIE at the terminal. She probably won't be too happy to see me considering I took a bat to her mailbox for sending me chain letters via text message.

Wednesday, 1:13 AM - I arrive at the Motel 6, pissed off cause Kizzy booked my at a Motel 6. Knowing I said the Sheraton, but she so used to staying at Motel 6's during her "tours" she booked it by habit.

Wednesday, 1:14:26 AM - I throw Kizzy's Chinese plate from The Wok on the ground and stomp all over it. Yah! Bitch! Yah! I briefly turn in for the night.

Wednesday, 3:49 AM - Fresh hits up the celly questioning my whereabouts. I ain't used to answering to nobody (not even my Momma)... so I go off. I come to find out that she's been partying all-damn-day with KID FURY, J, FAKE JANICE COMBS and the chicks from ALL THAT'S FAB. She also clues me in that I'm "late" and I was s'posed to be in the A Monday. Turns out Millie (who was in charge of booking my flight) got the dates wrong and I'm a day behind.

Wednesday, 3:56 AM - I cancel the whole trip and hop the first flight back to Houston (Home of The Wig Crypt) to personally put my foot in Millie's ass.

So I don't plan on being gone for long. Knowing Millie's and Kizzy's previous fuckups (flops they call albums), I won't be surprised if they ruin my little trip.

Anyways... keep it pimping.

I ain't saying I wouldn't trust y'all with this year's presidential election but I wouldn't trust y'all with this year's presidential election.

Just when I think I was gonna git to grill Noxema Jackson (if ya nasty) for not paying taxes for three years, a surprise come-from-behind-win gives Llama the GoSatchoAssDown Award.

I asked:

Who Really Needs A GoSatchoAssDown Award?

You said:

A. Angelica Knowles (for running her mouth) - 24% (44 votes)
B. Robin Antin (for "Girlicious") - 16% 31 (votes)