Please comb Zahara's hair. It's starting to look like you don't care.
I took her to Chuck E. Cheese's yesterday and when they brought us our pizza she throw a Grade A fit. Talmbout, "I found some hair in my food and dat ain't sanitary!" I was too embarrassed and didn't have the nuts (I ain't tryna get shanked) to tell her the hair fell out of her head. I was TOTALLY embarrased. She caused the biggest scene in the world. Got up on top of the table and started cussing and clicking and speaking in tongues.
As a result, we're not allowed back in any Chuck E. Cheese's in the northeast but she likes their pizza and I plan on bringing her down south, meet the family, and taking her to Houston's local Chuck E. Cheese.
Angelina, do me a HUGE favor. Send Brad to Sally's Hairstore on the corner... tell him to walk in, and ignore the Korean lady. DON'T TRY TO DECIPHER WAS SHE'S SAYING!!! It's usually something like she saying, "Welcome to store. You have money? Good. Very good. Very good pussy." Knowing him he may try to file charges or something. Tell him to tune her out and go to the aisles in the back. He should find beaucoups of barettes back there. Buy 'em all. In all colors... so she can be coordinating. When you get them DON'T TRY TO APPLY THEM TO ZAHARA'S HAIR YOURSELF!!! Call up TRISHA (known for her Photoshop work) and get her to plait it up for ya.
I don't want to see my baby girl looking toe up no mo'. Got her looking like crows taking flight off her dome and shit. The fuck?
And you better take my advice... because you wouldn't wanna cross me.
TOP STORY:
Cassie's been fucking for tracks this whole time. Diddy and Cassie got snapped all hugged up somewhere where stone statues and trees and found.
I can't even lie. I'm more interested at what they're looking at then what the 'razzi done snapped up. I'm just telling it like it is.
I can finally add Cassie to the Undesirables. I guess that works out for the both of us then.
SIDEBAR: What the fuck is GStyle?
This bitch done stole my crayons and my momma's stylist. Let me catch her on the street. I'll mollywhop her just as God made Moses (stealing another one of Granny's quotes).
Or I could just sick SOLJA GIRL on her.
SIDEBAR: Even from the back, she looks brolic.
