A few of the bloggers from 'round the way have been criticizing your boy. Talmbout, "Juelz, why you always hatin' on folks? You ain't even old 'nuff to know half the folks you blog about."
I'm here to tell them what I lack in age/experience, I more than make up for in my kick-ass appeal to the masses and my ability to YouTube and Google folks.
But I seriously need to prove those popping hopping skip skopping laffy taffy heffas wrong... so I joined the ranks of "Old School Fridays"
This weeks theme:
Best Guitar/Bass Solo
My pick:
Jimi Hendrix - Hey Joe Tienerklanken
I'm up on my Hendrix. And for those looking for that purple haze, see me outside in the parking lot after the school bell rings.
This ain't right y'all. This shit just ain't right.
Every time I tell myself, I won't blog today... something sends me running to check my e-mail/troll the blogs etc.
I told myself, "Juelz, chill out today, homeboy. Kick back, relax, watch a few episodes of The Wire or Boondocks. Sip that Armadale... Hell, you can even sip some Mad Dog 20/20. It's yo' world, young'n."
But something to me to check up with FRESH. This is what I found.
If this nigrum can get his shit printed up I know folks gon' rock MY CREATIONS.
As for "No Kiss Assness... please hang up and try your call again, Joc.
So I'm doing my thug-dizzle... chillaxin' and watching a few games and the 'razzi was all in my grill. But I'm a boss so I stay representing for my team, y'know.
Thoughts scrolling through my head while posing for the cameras:
"Get that finger out my face. I don't know where yo' hands been!"
"Is this a window lickers convention 'cause these two niggas look certified?"
"I bet not see Big Ton in here."
"It's so mighty funny these nigrums taking me to sporting events, but WHERE MY DADDY AT?"
Excersizing my trigger finger
EDIT: It seems that I was with my Daddy after all. I probably ain't recognize 'em 'cause Ion't really chill with him like I used to. My hustle is my hustle and the hustle ain't got time for family.
My cyber-homie SCOOP texted me talmbout some "Latarian Milton Big Ton was seen HOO-RIDING with Bobby Brown."
I couldn't believe it.
In the words of my Granny:
"Hell the fuck nah! Ain't that 'bout a bitch and then some!"
All I gotta say to Big Ton is we ain't friends no mo'. You seemed cool at first, y'know... 'cause you was into grand theft auto (I'm not talking 'bout the game) and granny-beating... But banging with Bobby? You must be constipated and want him to pull some dookie-logs up out ya.
I don't care. Whatever the case is... you can't roll with me no more homie. I can't have Zahara in that kind of environment.
This blog is satirical, or at least it tries to be. Using a fictional PERSONA we clown and wild out and pause and no homo and all that good shit. Even though it may seem like otherwise, I am not the real Julez. This is the part of the show where I tell you that this blog is not affiliated with the Knowles. Not Solange. Not Mathew. Not Julez. Not Beyonce. Not Tina. Maybe Kelly. No, just kidding. She's busy. Read that again with a straight face. So if you were wondering, it's not a Knowles affiliated site. And if Solange is reading this, sawwy! Like your hair.
