Now I may SWAGGER JACK and I may get my tasteless kicks out of stereotyping a toddler into something he's not, but rarely do I break character, speak to you as I am, and use this blog as my own outlet to the people. But today, "The Management" was trollicking [trolling + frollicking] my all-time favorite BLOG [get in there!] and I found my new all-time favorite guilty pleasure.

Oh my damn... Geisha's song embodies my twenty-fo seventy sev mindframe. This chick is choking a bitch in her video... Then she said she'd Naomi Campbell you so hard, you'd hear the dial tone... probably for the rest of your life. Thank ya, thank ya, Lord I wanna thank ya... Geisha is a motherfucking poet and if I were speaking to you as LCP, he'd wanna hump her.

Where else can you find a female [rapper these days] who will get sexy AND violent... at the same damn time. Notice I didn't end that sentence with a question mark, because that was a rhetorical STATEMENT. You ain't gon' find another bitch like her. She got out on a bitch just for walking up to her with a question and the girl wasn't even beligerent to her. Usually, I woulda sat Geisha down and we woulda talked about when and when not to hit a bitch that walks up on you* but all I can say is go head on.

This shit here knocks... and you can knock a ho out while you arching ya back and cascading ya ass from left to right. Eat your pussy heart out, Trina. I was gone stick it out and work it out and stick it out and work it out and stick it out and work it out and wait for Lil' Kim to get back on her forreal, forreal, but now you can expect me to start a petition to get Def Jam to sign Geisha...

I mean, shit... She IS from 305... She can get Khaled to say "Who" and "Nigga" on her track along with about fiddyleven other niggas as featured artists. Rarely do I plan out another person's career, let alone a performing artist, but this chick needs the spotlight like O.J. needs parole.

Do she got a Myspace? I don't even fuck with MyFace of SpaceBook and I'm asking y'all about it. It's that serious. Don't pass Geisha off as the next hood, dick sucking ho... This is that real deal forreal forreal...



*Finger pointing, neck rolling, mouth popping, voice volume raising will get you choked on the spot... I throw down where I'm mad at. Who has time to stop and think about it during this recession?

Dear Readers of Crunk & Disorderly,

I know that being somewhat anti-social and going against the grain is cool and what's popping in the streets. I know you like to dislike what the vast majority likes and if anything is labeled "The Shit" in any way, shape, or form you hate it.

You bash it.

You hurt its feelings.

You talk about its mother.

You clown it.

You dog it.

You have a field day with it.

That's all good and junk, but do me a favor, won't you? STOP BRINGING BEYONCE'S NAME UP EVERY 30 - 55 SECONDS IN THE DAMN COMMENT BOX!!! Yes, I lurk there when I'm bored and there's no food in the fridge and shit. Yes, I get tired of hearing Beyonce news and seeing her name everywhere. Yes, the stans piss me off, too.

WHY DO YOU THINK ME AND MY HOMIES VOLUNTARILY GOT BANNED FROM BEYONCEWORLD?

If you don't like her, why is she always so damn relevant? If you don't like her, why is she your opening joke in a new post's comment box? EVEN WHEN THE POST HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER!?!? If you don't like her, why are you putting a ring on it? You understood that failed joke, didn't you? Why? Because you've been busy giving Beyonce all of your precious attention, but then again --- your attention is too good for Beyonce. You already mad,  you gotta breathe the same air she does, so when somebody [who admittedly doesn't like her] reminds me of her existence, I wonder. I don't get it. Not one bit.

I know it's what's popping in the street to talk about her breath, questionable taste, vapid mind, blank stare, wig collection and all that jazz, but come the fuck on... do you really not like her? You've studied her bounce, for Christ's sake. Now you're tryna tell me, you don't like the bitch. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!

If Nivea was sitting in the corner, smoking a blunt, watching Rihanna and Tyra Banks headbutt one another to the death, you'd find some way to make Beyonce relevant to all of this.

"Rihanna could win if Jay let her wear one of Beyaki's wigs."

How close was that?

I understand it partially. You don't wanna like Bey, because then you'd probably kinda feel like a stan [or be accused of being one]. That's perfectly understandble. Stans are the worse and they do nothing for the advancement of the Creoled. I, myself, may, IN FACT, be a stan. Until further, notice I'm in between... From where I'm standing I wants nothing to do with stannism, stanhood, stannery, or stanship. Stans ain't shit! They just like niggas. THEY DON'T APPRECIATE SHIT! So in your quest to not be associated with stans, C&D Readers, you find yourself throwing salt on Beyonce's pork rinds in hopes of raising her blood pressure, sending her into a possible stroke. You hate her, so folks won't hate you.

This sounds like a Mean Girls sequel if Mean Girls were a bunch of 18 - 30 somethings, at work slacking off, fucking up the economy, wondering why the fuck they bank account emptier than a Kelly Rowland intimate gathering...

I close this random rant with some simple questions.

Don't you stan for Fresh? Why do you say Beyonce's name on the daily? Why is Beyonce so fucking relevant? I know Matthew is pushing her down your throats but gahdamn!