I don't hate Taylor Swift. I hate the Kanye backlash. By now you know the story of when Yeezy got drunk. I feel like Kanye woulda spoke his mind about Taylor regardless if he wasn't ON THAT LIQUOR BITCH*. He may have said it later or in a less insulting way, but it's Kanye so the last thing he woulda been worried 'bout was insulting somebody.

I wanna say my take on The Great Taylor Swift Debacle of 09/10. First and foremost, calm it down just a tad to the people who hate her with all they life. In probably two years, she might Britney it or even worse... she might just not matter. Pop is a heartless game. Your talent is easily replaceable, because the next mofo can come in and seem reinvigorating to the masses leaving you looking like old pussy. It happened with Beyonce and Rihanna. Beyonce managed to weather the storm. It happened with Ciara and Keri Hilson. Write a few songs, sound good on a track and dance a little and BAM! Thin voices rejoice. It happens in this business. But that's neither *Eric Cartman voice* hwuh nor nwuh.

Understand, Taylor was selling albums like crack. Wanna know why? I just explained it to you in the paragraph above. Plus you motherfuckers buy anything! That's why Sean Kingston can keep his breasts sitting perky and this Jay Sean shit was ruling iTunes at one point. I'd say what the fuck about that, but this isn't about him. This is about why I can't jiggy with this Fearless shit. It's not my steeze. I don't jig to them chords. My mama don't let me listen to that kinda music on Sundays. But I digress. Taylor was selling the records. Yitty dee! We just didn't know how big she was [I was aware that she existed before the VMAs] until Kayne snatched that dick out her hand.

Here's why I don't dig Taylor as a person and it's not even a personal thing. It's more of a business thing. I understand how the behind the scenes people do shit. Once the media was slapping him on the wrist her people screamed "EUREKA!" All we got to do is answer the Kanye questions with dignity and couth then use that publicity to continue to expand our empire. It was the common sense, no duh approach. Frankly, if that was the case, then her people were just doing their jobs. I applaud this business savvy, because I know Pop Pops woulda been like "PLAY VICTIM! SAY HE GROPED YOU BACKSTAGED, TOO!" Oh, the irony since Pops gropes every other la... Never mind.

The reason why this turns me off when it comes to Taylor is the shadiness of it**. Kayne owns about most rappers in his field, 17% of musicians in other genres and aspiring reality star fetuses. Him getting snubbed and blackballed pisses me off! I misdirect that anger at Taylor, because I don't think he should suffer. He spoke his mind at the wrong time in a disrespectful manner. I could say that it's easy for Hollywood to dump him since he's Black but I haven't played the race card since I bitched about Lucy Lui not being asked to scat on the new "We Are The World" via Twitter. I just keep digressing! I'll never make my point. Pimpcrest out.

*If you haven't already, click that link. I'm on that liquor bitch, I'm 'bout to whoop a bitch. It's a must-have for your jig-worthy collection.
**To be fair, a lot of people hate Beyonce for this same reason. And they can all just suck a knife until it ejaculates.

Blacklisted like a motherfucker. Ain't nothing Creole in me that can cosign with this. We was homies, Sav. I graduated from Savvy Fatty's 2Pac Academy & Foods of Many Nations Emporium, because of you. Why would you stoop to this level on me like that?

The Grammys are wack as all Ray-J. If it wasn't for live Twitter recaps, I wouldn't have watched. To be honest, I never watch. I have a hangup about traditional award shows  that were once whites-only clubs. The Grammys. The Oscars. The Emmys. The VMAs. I wasn't never feeling 'em. I've seen a few VMAs, but none of the others before tonight. Well, the first Grammy show I watched was the one with Prince, Beyonce, & the dove. Performances as sporadically dope like that one deserve my viewer count. If you follow me on Twitter, then you saw  how I felt about the show last night.

To quote a wise mind, it was an emo festival of epic proportions. (I think @LuvvieIG said that).

All slow songs everything. I was relieved when The Fantastic Four took the stage and did "I Got A Feeling", and again when Jamie Foxx and T-Pain ol' looking ass boy ass got on stage. Pink's aerial attack performance made me wish I was an air marshal. I'll give her props though. Not any recording artist will do that shit with her disrespectful ass body. (I think Miss Jia said that last night). It had me in a giggle fit that was more entertaining than this disrespectful ass show. The 52nd Grammys were so uneventful it's disrespectful to snoozefests, everywhere.

And I didn't appreciate how they hyped a Michael tribute. I expected dancing, bitches, and beer. You give me Celine Dion? I can hit it big at a slot machine in Vegas and see that bitch for free.99 anytime. Ain't nothing Creole in my world tryna get hype about Celine or Usher. Although, Effie White came out and brought the "What about me? What about what I need?" swagger with her. Meaning, she had on a pair of Keri Hilson's bangs. By the way, if you didn't peep @ItsTootie's futurelove/shadefest to Miss Skeri Bangsy, you hate Christ. I think Maxwell is modern-day Ray Charles, but that's a compliment and probably the only real compliment I've given so far.

Before I really rant, let me say this....

The biggest boss that you've seen thus far graced the stage and gave ya life! Fuck the Grammys. No, thanks galore. I did think about whooping Rihanna's ass before the Grammys for old time's sake. She was game. We all laughed about it in the helicopter ride on the way to the Staples Center. I decided to take a rain check and beat her ass after the show. I'm five and you picking me up to speak into the mic? That's so disrespectful! Let me digress really quick... Momma was so jealous when she saw me on stage. She never been up there, but ya boy? Hahahaha.

Now that that's that. And that this is this:


Let's talk about this:


No thanks. Before you start talking shit, let me clarify. The homie @ThroatChopU argued that Taylor was the recipient of much success before the Fuck Yo' Coloring Book fiasco. I agree. Taylor was selling albums and soon to step out of the country barrier into some Pop success. Was it deserving, though? When I say "Bitch, please" I'm not using manners. I think false ass musicians were brought on by the hailstorm success of Britney Spears. Sure, Britney was nice on the eyes and her team had her story straight, but her success is mildly bordering on a whole lotta Fuck Yo' Coloring Book status. It just lead to more and more vapid ass success stories from limitedly talented artists. Taylor may sound good on her tracks, but so can Keri, Miley, and on a fair day Cassie. Live vocals ain't on deck for Swift. Her notes were leaning on that codeine last night and it doesn't help that Stevie Nicks was backing her. That's like Keyshia and Monica at BET Awards 09. And Stevie didn't even have a solo or none of that shit. That alone proves the sympathy success is still afoot. Anybody in Hollywood is ready to jump on Team Swift, because Kanye took candy from a baby.


Other ways Taylor received sympathy last night:
1) They gave her a total of nine and three-quarters hours worth of acceptance speech time.
2) All the nods. So much nominations. So much nominations. It's unusual for someone so young to get so much Grammy love. She's been here for four years according to WikiP, but still very, very rare.
3) Album of the Year.


Bullshit, if anybody's ever called it. Gaga couldn't get the Best New Artist nod last year (even though Adele was deserving) but Taylor Swift can win the whole shabang? Fuck yo' coloring book and bitch, I'm stealing ya crayons. I'd like Taylor more if she'd acknowledge Attack of the Kanye was somewhat pivotal to her stampeding popularity as fo late. I'd love her if she ate something, looking like Tales of the Crypt 2K10's host. She is skinny. And she's tall as all fuck so a little weight wouldn't make her bad built or nothing. But that's just nitpicking at nothing, I just hate seeing little ass people. It just punches my soul to see decrepit motherfuckers. If I could read thoughts, I'd bet her conscious would be screaming "STOP AT McDONALD'S!" But I digress.


Beyonce should have won but she wasn't the most deserving. Ever since GaGa premiered it's been a mad mad rush of STFU to anybody else in a room with her. Mainly cause of the 'fits, but she can sing tickle the keys. Sing, play piano, and look a hot mess in the good way? Fuck your life, Alicia Keys. Boss up. I'm just saying, though. In comparison, talent and material wise it was I thought all favors pointed at Gaga.


But since, Kanye's Greatest Success Story won... No, thanks.