...as long as no one's stopping villains such as 5Ton4Head. I haven't really been the same to her since "it" happened. Mainly, because she's the homie at the Creole HQs now with her and my Granny trading Pokemon cards, hair recipes and disses like old chums. But this... THIS? This super villain costume isn't to be ignored. We shall not sit idly by. Where's Spider-Man?!

Via NYGMAG.

This is why you shouldn't join Team Rihanna. My Tee-Tee's music will never 'cause small, fat children to run up your light bill and blow light bulbs.

SIDEBAR: I will PayPal a dollar to WHOMEVER can find out this piglet's gender.

Pretty Chrissy... I despise you. I hope one day you go in to kiss 5Ton4Head and she knocks her ass unconscious with her Superdome.

Anyways... Mr. Lisp kinda-sorta put his foot in his mouth when asked about his 'lationship with "It". When asked how Old Lady Chrissy and 5Ton get along, Chrissy said:

Yeah yeah, she’s real cool. They’re both light skin with green eyes, so…

Translation:

They get along and junk. Mainly because she ain't dark skinned. Mama like when they eligible to stay in the house and not work in the yard.

Did I take it too far? Oh, well... Ain't nahn one of them Creole so... But what if 5Ton was Kizzy's skintone, not saying anything's wrong with that... but what if Kizzy was the chick you were gnawing on at the midnight hour?

Fresh put up new pics of 5TON4HEAD getting her publicity before her lease on her new hairpiece is up and she has to return it to SALLY'S.

I don't have the tolerance to deal with her today (I got grounded for gutting my neighbor's gerbils and stomping all of Granny's turnip green garden) so head to C & D to see 'em.

Sexual harrassment. The jokes write themselves. I don't even have to anoint this post with my pimpness. It came bundled and built in with this pic.

I'm still waiting for 5Ton4Head to fall off and join The Undesirables.

Scared, Chris? Is you scared? What? You think I got some goons disguised as the paparazzi out to get you. Damn skippy!!!

This ain't over, punk!

I'll straight smash 5Ton4Head's friend though. No lie. But, real talk... that slumped posture make her look like a depressed turtle.

I warned you, son.

I warned you....

Chris Brown got into a scuffle during an after-party at a German nightclub. Supposedly, he decided to go all You Got Served and do a dance-battle against some party-goers, when things got heated.

I warned you.

But nah... you STILL laying up w/ 5Ton4Head. So I sent my homie to deal with you. You thought he was a clubhead just because he can Crank That Batman into a Pop Lock and then Coin Drop? Nah, homie... that's just extra-curricular activities. Homie, mollywhooped yo' ass.

Hahahaha... Nan-nanny-boo-boo!

[SHOUTS TO THEFURY FOR THE STORY]

Chris. Chris. Chris.

At first we was friends. We wasn't THAT cool but you was on my good side. I ain't never had to smack you into next Tuesday or nothing. You was cool with my peoples too. Jay talked me into doing a track with you on my upcoming debut album "Pimping Ain't Easy". I was gone do it, too.

But then I saw this

How you gone disrespect my family like that, bruh? You know we boycotting 5Ton-4Head. You know this. What you think I took a bat to her limo at the Grammy's for nothing. Do you know we had that place LOCKED DOWN? Do you know I got a crew consisting of Brooklyn Beckham and my main squeez Zahara Jolie-Pitt? Do you know that she don't play that shit? Do you? Do you? She was your biggest fan! She got a sippy cup with your pic on it. She didn't even believe the rumors about you and your manager. She was ready to cut a bitch, though. Took the barrattes out her head and everything, just ready to fight. But I digress.

Now, I'm not the type to shank folks all willy-nilly, but I got my eye on you. Consider your next single to be a Billboard flop. My grandaddy will make sure of it!