Just an observation really...

Can we ponder on the fact that 50 Cent looks like... well, I think, Abra, Kadabra, and Alakazam. Drawing blanks?

It's just me, right? He really doesn't look like a Pokemon, right?

I didn't do my annual Mother's Day post for Solange. Before you new readers get all up in arms, it's not a post from "Julez" to Solo. It's a post from The Management aka Person Behind The Pimp thanking Solange for being an awesome from what we can see and not making us shut this site down, suing in the process.

I don't know why I didn't make the post. I said I was gonna do it and Mother's Day came and left and I'll be damned... No post. If you're Solange and if you're reading this... Sorry. I like your hair, though. If you're from the Creole Camp and you're reading this, Hottie blink. Why are you here? Are they paying you? I'm willing to trick for a few dollars myself...

But I digress.

The point of this post and why it has to do with Mother's Day is this... Quincy Jones, Al B Sure Nigga With The Hair All Wavy Junior, made a Global Grind post about Mother's Day and his ratchet ass lifegiver/attention whore mom. Being an attention whore himself, I'm sure they get along wonderfully and that's where the love continues because they have the same ambitions of being famous by association. That MUST be why they are so weird together. Because... This shit right here...

I chose to express my love and devotion to my Mother, not only by presenting her with gifts and verbal means of appreciation, but by sharing my LOVE for her with the WORLD; A KISS!

Mother son kisses are harmless. But at a certain age, you and your child have to stop making out in public.

One YAASS! Two YAAASS! Gosselin YAASSS! Duggar YAASS! The healthcare bill done passed and now we can rejoice. Not only can you afford that new hip to continue your #hoshit escapades, but you can get rid of Rush Limbaugh -FINALLY!! Before you go tap dancing in public get a load of this:

Recently, a number of interesting things happened. First, Rush Limbaugh said on his radio show that if the Healthcare Reform Bill passed, he would go to Costa Rica. Second, the Healthcare Reform Bill passed. As you can imagine, this has made a number of people very excited. We are among that number. We want to make sure that Rush is able to make good on his promise, and so we've made this website.

If you got a PayPal account and a dollar then you, too, can help rid the States of hate. Just one dollar a day will feed a hungry child in Africa. Ten will go towards relief in Haiti, Chili, and other places Pat Robertson don't fuck with. Donate to them FIRST then just ONE easy payment of one dollar will get Rush Limbaugh the fuck outta here.

I came across this site and cried. I cried like Jesus. I didn't cry when Obama was declared President-elect because God told me a change was gon' come. I knowed this. But we can finally get rid of Rush which is one less Republican and that makes me cry like everybody at the end of Precious. I'm just so fucking happy.

...wouldn't even start to describe this shit right here.

The homie, who shall remain nameless because I fear she will be shanked by one of these project chicks in the pic, sent me this after she returned from her night of fun and festivities at the Plies concert. My granny was there because according to the people behind Beyonceitis, Plies is my supposed to be step grandaddy. Granny nasty, but I digress. More after the jump.

If you hadn't heard by now, Pretty "Headbussa" Chrissy is getting all exclusive with Omarion. From the looks of things, Chris is tryna prove that even though he doesn't even really know him, he still wants to take him shopping and he isn't a lame and big shit is, in fact, popping.

But let's just call a spade a "spade" and save Omari from a lil' Heartbreaks and 808. Chris don't want nor love  you. He just saw 5Ton4Head with Drake, drinking apple juice and gin and trading Yugi-Oh cards and had to hit her where it hurts. The heart. Not the eye.

I, honestly, don't give a fuck... I just like seeing Granny all happy.


Expect this gif to become a mainstay here at LCP.

And I stole this BIG ASS pic from GREG'S playground.

Leave Bow Wow alone!

:mad:

Sure, Bow Wow said he was HOMOPHOBIC... that's his business.



 Is you mad, because Bow Wow didn't want no boy that likes boys cutting his hair? That's that mayne. If he don't want some possibly gay guy feeling and rubbing and caressing and finger his scalp, then let that nigga not want that. Bow Wow ain't never did nothing to nobody. You won't buy his record, because he's homophobic. Bow Wow is a good man. He tried to make an honest woman outta Ciara, Dollicia, Omarion and Soulja Boy. This how you treat him? Despicable

I, myself, don't blame him. That's why I don't let gay men cut my hair. Ain't no telling who be doing what with they hands these days. I only let my Granny comb, moisturize, perm, and rod my hair. Only thing she do with her hands is fondle my Pop Pop's nutts. I can trust her. I can't trust gay men.

I don't want no gay man touching my head, even though all he's doing is giving me a line. That's gay.

I also don't want no gay man preparing my sammiches at McDonald's. Ain't no telling what they do to my sammich when I'm waiting at the drive thru. Niggas these days is nasty. A straight man would never fuck over my sammich, even if I had beef with him. He wouldn't kick my patty back and forth to his co-workers like a hockey puck,  dress my sammich, then serve it to me like ain't nothing wrong. But a gay men? Nah... Gay men fixing your food... I don't care if it was my last meal. That's still gay.

I also don't want a gay man installing my cable. You watch flicks. You be at the adult bookstore on late Thursday nights/early Friday mornings. You watch Xtube. You see the themed movies. You know about the cable man hooking up your TV, then hooking you up. You know how cable men get down. You know all cable men are naked underneath that dark navy jumpsuit. A straight brother? Cool, he can hook my DirecTV/Comcast up anyday. I can trust him. A gay dude? Nah, that's gay homie.

I don't even want a gay dude's kidney. I don't care if he had the best kidney in the world. I don't care if he was a virgin. Never even touched a dick NOT EVEN HIS OWN. He can be kin to Obama. I don't give a fuck. I'd just die. Tell my momma I love her, then  die. I can't have gay parts in me. That's gay.



Hop off Bow Wow's nuts, yo'. He is already short. Now you want him to get molested by a man? AGAIN!? Let that bitch breathe.

This is what Pretty Chrissy wanted to play on the drive back to his hotel. I'm not one to judge or point fingers so...

Mayne, I was at the crib eating my Granny's world famous Chitlin Pot Pie, just pissed off. For what reasons... I got a few... I'ma put y'all up on game and make a hit list. For those of you who don't know how the game go (and the simple mofos who ain't bought my DICTIONARY)...

1. HIT LIST - is a list of persons I plan on fighting, jumping, shanking, shooting, and/or Ike Turner booting.

Here's a few names that I have on my current hit list:




1. 5TON4HEAD - You already know I'ont like you. I wish you would and the dude you bearding for would just fall into oblivion. You ain't Creole, live with it.

2. PRETTY CHRISSY - Since your name done came up, I just wanna say go sitcho Plies Ross ass down somewhere.


3. FAKE FRANKIE COLE - My momma bought yo' BOOK and tried to give me a whooping... whilst a pimp was in the damn bathtub. Fuckery. If I wasn't birthday-suited up, we woulda fought. Sitcho uncute ass down somewhere if you know what's coming fo' ya.


4. THIS BIG CHICK - Let go of that there gal... She got her giraffe print on but she is not edible. Give her to me. I'll take her. (Ol' girl got enough skin to break the tat-tat-tatted up world record)



5. TEE-TEE - Remeber that day, you was on the set of Chess Records? We made that emergency Popeyes run 'cause you was going through withdrawals. At first you thought you could go without for a good couple of days, but when you started throwing your removable hairs at Kizzy we had to hurry up and get you some of that spicy chicken.... But that's not why I'm gunning for you... remember when Farrah rang us up and you picked up the bag... and dropped my damn wild rice? Oh... payback's a motherfucker.



6. FARRAH - What the fuck you give her the bag for? Fake ass green eyes.



7. ASHANTI'S LIL' SISTER SHIA - For being the lil' sister that's bigger than the big sister. I'm playing... Real reason: remember the time we was at Ruby Tuesday's and my Granny Tina ran into yo' Mammy Tina and they pulled each others tracks loose shared words... You turned around and asked me for some change for the gumball machine... Trifling... My granny sitting over here with her hair in her hand because yo' Moms just couldn't deal with the fact that yo' sister contracted a FASERIOUS! case of Beyonceitis and you got the nerve to ask me for some change. I gave you the change out the kindness of my heart... But you was s'pose to pay me back, with interest. It's been damn nears two years... Them three quarters is now $2.67... I want my damn money.


8. KIDS OF DIDDY - Because yo' momma won't return my texts.


9. SUGE KNIGHT - You still running around talmbout you won that fight. I beat yo' ass. Admit it.


10. LaMICHAEL - 'Cause yo' NORWEGIAN SWAGGER is creeping up on my Creole and getting way too close for comfort.

This list is not complete...