Lil' Creole Pimp Filed Under: Tags: , , , ,

Don't you know it's Bey season? Don't you know you already the shadowed-one? Now you want a bad case of the YOU KNOW WHATS... I just don't know what to do with you.
It's just too hot to flop, but... Tee-Tee is showing off her ring and shit, and winding up her coochie and shit, and kicking up dust with that new stomp-fare video and I'm just not sure about this one. I'm just not sure. If I wasn't part of the church, I'd tell you some evil things, but I don't want you to ANDREA YATES me after bathtime, so I'ma chill shawty. That's 'bout the best advice that I can take.

I'm A Changed Man...

Lil' Creole Pimp Filed Under: Tags:

I'm through pimpin' y'all.

I done changed.

I ain't a thug no mo'.

I'm no longer a hoodlum.

I'm a Christian.

I've seen the error in my ways.

All truth. Real talk, no game no gimmicks. I put that on stack. I don't thug no mo'.

I got tired of running from the law. I got tired of helping Granny rob the polyester factory...I got tired of being the getaway driver when I was damn well good enough to help hold up the joint. I got tired of Granny telling me to, "Keep the car running and stay there no matter if the police show up." I got tired of my momma coming down to the precinct and picking us up. I got tired of Granny telling Momma, "Watch yo' goddamn mouth, So... I brought you in this world, I'll choke yo' ass from passenger seat and take you out. You ever got choked while driving a car, Solo?" I got tired of it.

I got tired of arguing with Zahara in the McDonald's parking lot. I got tired of her questioning my actions. I got tired of her telling me I got too much damn money to be pushing that good. I got tired of buying her shit with that money I got from pushing that good and she acting like it wasn't good enough. I got tired of paying good money, taking her places, and she act like she can't comb her damn head. I got tired of it.

I got tired of Rick Ross asking me to "show him the ropes". I got tired of rolling with Plies and his cell phone would ring, and the ringtone would be "BITCH, STOP CALLING ME," by Dem Franchize Boyz and he talmbout "Yo' Granny calling again." I got tired of telling her after he dump the mayonnaise off in ya salad, he don't call no more. I got tired of sitting her down and telling her to charge it to the game. I got tired of her going to her "creative room" and sewing up monstrosities out of pure angst. You ever heard of people eating their emotions? Granny sews her emotions.

Here she was green with envy 'cause Tee-Tee didn't win every Grammy that night.
Here she was happy because she just bought a pair of mettalic snakeskin boots and she wanted Tee-Tee to match her that.
She was going through a dark phase, I guess.

Another dark phase, but she had more too much confidence than before.

There have been far worse tragic cases, but I've digressed far too much.

Like I said, I can't pimp no more. My probation thang gon' be aight... I'm a child of the Savior. My probation thang gon' be aight. I been down by the riverside and I let the water wash over my Caesar. My probation thang gon' be aight. Then I got some chicks to snatch these waves out and put my hair in a perm. My probation thang gon' be aight.

Until I get off probation... I can't pimp it like I used to.