Full Clip: Drake - Forever

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Your favorite rapper's favorite rapper A Pup Named Scooby Drake has dropped yet ANOTHER video. That's right, folks! You heard right. Wheelchair Drizzy is on his grizzy. Nice to see him staying busy while on bedrest for his lil' "slip-up". This fool gon' get enough of not listening to the doctor 'til they cut his leg off, no diabetes.

Cut the check, mayne.

Until then, enjoy the full clip. I'm sure it's exciting and shit. I ain't have time to view it yet. I'm busy tryna find out why he call himself Drake "Drizzy" Rogers. Is Mista Rogers his Daddy? Is he from "The Neighborhood"? Degrassi my ass. Kudos to his poltergeist hand and its Creole Gymnastic feats.

Ask Lil' Creole Pimp

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My debaucher in fame proceeds me in dog years. So the general public seems to think I'm wise and shit because of it. Why? *Kanye shoulder shrug* I just roll with the punches until they cut my check.

But I digress.

The public thinks I'm wise enough to share my insight with them even though my preschool education says otherwise. But I'm not one to let the people down! And the giftshop just went into foreclosure, DAMN ECONOMY!

So, I thought I'd answer the readerships personal questions for the time being... Or at least 'til me and the newfound, UNBLACKLISTED homie, Lil' Rock just buss up in the motherfucker, singing the Upper Room and steal my shit back, OJ style!

The very first readermail after the jump.


I'm Only Doing This Because I Love Ya

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Black people, what the fuck gives? I was "enjoying all the drama" my Hadley street-esque life has to offer so I missed out on a multitude of niggardly things that happened in the past days. I wasn't there when Serena was about to turn that Asian lineperson into lo mein. I wasn't there as Kayne snatched that dick away from Taylor Swift and handed it to Tee-Tee. I wasn't there when Obama called him out his name for it. I wasn't there when Llama the Moses repped her set. I was there when Sheneneh caught that snowball to the face though.


Tell Me Why These Niggas Hating

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He told y'all that if you gave him a lil' space that he'd really lose his mind? Don't believe me?

4:00 mark.

Y'all ain't ready.

The Weekend B'Day Bash!

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You lucky motherfuckers got to live to witness, yet another, B'Day! You better drop to ya knees and arch ya back and praise whomever you answer to on the Sabbath.

If you weren't aware, Friday, September 4, 2009 Tee-Tee turned 72 (to some people). And since it fell on a Friday this year we had to do it big! Now when you're a rich ass Creole family with a galaxy of haters and checkbooks, doing it big is bigger than just doing it big.


Originally, we weren't sure how we was gon' do this, because no one in the Killa Knowles Klan shares the same views on "doing it big". When you're Kelly Rowland, doing it big is throwing your fiesta-fiesta overseas and having it a bigger success than it would be if it were held in the states. When you're Michelle Williams, doing it big is dropping down low and sweeping the floor with ya FACE at the local Negro complex for coon dancing and dutty whining (on Tuesday nights). When you're Cousin Angie... doing it big is whatever Tina Knowles, swag effervescent, thinks doing it big means. And Tina Knowles, swag effervescent, thinks doing it big means ordering a couple pounds of crawfish and sitting 'round playing spades and tonk out in the front yard in a gazebo tent you bought at Wal-Mart... And before you sit there and talk yo' shit, those tents are ideal for southern summertime activities because these Wig Crypt MOSQUITOES ain't no joke.

So at the end of the day, my Pop-Pop, The Hustler, (male version of a diva) decided, "Hell, B'Day is on Friday. Labor Day is the following Monday. Shit... Why stop partying?"

Pop-Pop's logic knows no bounds. He even promised Tee-Tee he wouldn't try to profit from the festivities, but he still snuck a few shots from his video phone and plans to sell them to Necole Bitchie for some loot.

Pop-Pop's theme song.

Friday, we kicked off the events and turned the Wig Crypt into House Party 1 and 3. Two sucked and four contained Marques Houston, without the weave, so we ain't even... Everybody was invited. Everybody irrelevant. We decided it'd be cool to infuse them with high class, six star pent suites 'ish for a change. Who came?

-Teairra Mari
-Sunshine Anderson
-Kandi Burlapsack (of Real Housewives of Atlanta... oh wait, I mean Xscape)
-LaTosha Scott
-Kat Deluna
-Angie Martinez
-The unfamous Kardashians
-The unfamous Danity Kane girls
-Charli Baltimore
-Nicole Wray
-Synclaire & Overton
-Foxy Brown
-Romeo and LDB
-Lil' Fizz and J-Boog
-Raz-B but he left when Lil' Fizz and them got there
-The Cheetah Girls (the white one was the only one who showed up)

I'ma tell y'all why Kima and my momma got into it over Smurfberry Kool-Aid in the next post, because right now, I'm missing out on all the fun and I smell hot wings

Pimpcrest, out.