This Just In: All White Everything, Basketball Edition

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According to THE HUFFING POST , there's a new way to segregate in Twenty10. A whites-only b-ball league is in effect for the summer. You read right! League commissioner Don "Moose" Lewis is opening a basketball league that will employ Caucasian players, born in the US to not just one but two Caucasian parents. That means ya mammy and ya pappy both gotta be WASPS and neither can be born outside of the 50 states (or maybe even the continental US, because we gully like that). Lewis claims he wants to de-sensationalize a lot of the antics seen in today's NBA like dunking and street ball that is played by "people of color". In other words, this cracker is sick of the Kobes and Garnetts and the African and European players coming and taking all the jobs away from his milky skin brethren. In other news, after the Republicans finish building the Great Wall of Mexico, they will also begin production to build a wall around basketball. Put ya lighters up if ya ready to see which white boy can get the most assists before the second half! If I wanted to watch boring basketball, I'd get season tickets to the Clippers or the Suns.

Why can't we just share?

UPDATE: The trip to me is... no foreigners. Because if anybody is ruining basketball is Canada's own Steve Nash.

About Damn Time

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The homie LOOSENECK just sent ya homeboy a text talmbout "Yo' auntie just told herself 'Ho, have a seat' and she taking six-months personal leave." You know what I think? I think we need to double down on that six months and make it a year. I'd patiently wait until TwentyLeven for Tee-Tee and Yeezy to come back and make every Rap/R&B panhandler feel smaller than Bow Wow in line for the roller coaster..

Beyonce's New Year's resolution is at once ambitious and surprising. The multitasking superstar, who was seemingly everywhere in 2009, hopes to spend a good chunk of 2010 not working.

"It's definitely time to take a break, to recharge my batteries," says Beyoncé, 28. "I'd like to take about six months and not go into the studio. I need to just live life, to be inspired by things again." SOURCE

Grade F Fuckery

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I'm very upset at the fact that this nigga mumbetalks like an Alicia Keys performance. Momma, why were you so hard up in rebelling? You didn't have to fuck this nigga? This can't be. This Yungsosodef nigga can't be my descendant.


Don't Press Play

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I try not to post material I've seen on other blogs, mainly Fresh's and KidFury's because they have a nice fanbase and by the time you see it here, you've already seen it there but this?

I wanna be one less.

The Tales of Wale + Creole

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You still DC chillin'? Huh, nigga?

Weekend Fuckery // Full Clip: Keke Wyatt's Snoozefest

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If everybody would kindly stand back and allow KeKe Wyatt's Gateway Arch eyebrows through the room. The Duchess of Daggers is back with a lukewarm single and I wanna be one less.The song ain't nothing to go crazy over and the Dollar Menu video has me, Geisha, and Scarlett all tumbling with laughter.

Keke, are you married? If not, you should be. That way Alicia Keys can steal yo' nigga, then you can get on Twitter and go crazy about it. Enjoy your shift at Zaxby's. Just put all the cutlery back where you found it, before you clock out.

Snook The Night

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For the Jersey Show fans, guess what. Snooki has a YouTube page. You can scour it for treasures hidden in Snooki's poof or you can get a load of the clip above. See! I do love my readership. I give y'all gifts like. Snooki: the light skin housemate that looks like Michael Jackson AND the dark skin housemate that looks like Michael Jackson.

Drake Is Aubrey Graham's Sasha Fierce

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Please pay attention to the sixteen second mark, because you'll never hear him call himself Aubrey Graham ever in the history of ever again.

I remember hearing Drake rap, before he was "Drake". This was a while ago, before MySpace was even hot. I think it was on a song called City Is Mine and a line from it went something like: "You lookinglike a hater and I'm something like a waiter. With treys in both hand, take ya order, I can cater." If you don't get it, I feel sorry for your mother. But that's when I really thought he was a good rapper, but I didn't see him ever being mainstream. Mainly because he had that pesky past of "acting" to hold him back. But he sure proved me wrong.

About him hopping over to Young Money? Eh... I wasn't keen to it at first. Ex-actor hanging with a buncha ex-cons? I didn't see it, but eh... Proved me wrong again. Thats the thing about Young Money. I gotta hand it to 'em. Weezy F Crazy showed up in 2009, but I don't see Young Money as a label as much as I see them as a conglomerate. They not just looking for one type of rapper, much like other crews and labels have done in the past. Murda Inc was East Coast thuggetry that wasn't mainstream and boring as fuck. Disturbing Tha Peace was just a bunch of Luda's teabagged lackeys. I'd like to take this opportunity to say Luda is short. DAMN LUDA IS SHORT. The camera adds 10 pounds and apparently 5 to 6 inches of height. But I digress. I wanna just get to the point. Young Money is employing bunch of different kindsa rappers. You got Weezy, who is um... Weezy, Nicki who is mainstream as fuck but still a nice rapper, Tyga who is supposedly West Coast but is more of a Southern-East Coast hybrid material-wise, you got Drake who is borderline mainstream/borderline this:

And then you got the rest of them niggas whose name you don't know.

Back to Drizzy Drake Rogers. He once thought having a Benz and Beemer as a first car was pretentious, but if you ballin' like that... INDULGE. I wonder if that Acura will show up lyrically on Thank Me Later which is scheduled to drop any year now. He gave his Bubbe [is that nigga Jewish?] chocolate for cash. That's kinda like selling drugs, because I guess the chocolate could kill her. Knock on wood. Absentee father = Black card, for those mad at his biracial steeze. He said here he not about material possession, but still every now and again we gotta go on a 24-hour champagne diet.

Now you know who Drake was before he knew what a haircut was.

Grade A Fuckery

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Vicious little monsters. I'm not sure what time mark it was said, but it kilt me a little. Just a little video-graphical fuckery to hold over the readership, because I can sense y'all fiending for updates. Be sure to play close attention to the Gaga impersonator. The nuances of her performance defines what kinda dream this is.

Random Rant: 2010 Conduct

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Last year was... Bruh. I don't think I have to go over the craziness this year gave us.

If it wasn't for Lockup marathons, I wouldn't even bother getting outta bed. That's fucked up, yo. Me? The Duke of Dance, Prince of Party, heir to the Kreole Dynasty not wanting to get up and log on and steeze and walk the streets of Hadley and steeze or bust up in the day care and STEEZE!? I blame y'all.

All of y'all. Bloggers. Non-bloggers. Pseudo-celebs. Celeb-celebs. Formspring. All of' y'all. I feel like this random rant is only proper because you niggas and bitches and nukkabitches need guidelines to live by in this post-Y2K world.

1. For starters, if you personally know a celebrity [hoping you're not whoring for it yourself] tell them to STOP WITH THE BULLSHIT. You wanna know what made celebrities so... great? The mystery. Prior to today's media obsessed world filled with stalkerazzi and Twitter rants, we didn't know show about celebs if they or their people didn't tell it. You never watched Living Single, back in the day, and said "I can't stand Kyle because T.C. Carson is so gay. I can't get over that video of him voguing at the club I saw on YouTube." Of course, you didn't. We didn't know shit besides what we speculated, so what was... simply was what we got. What we got was what we saw. With any kinda entertainment, not just TV. Music. Fashion. Movies. All that.

Nowadays? It's like the more I know about these attention whore celebs the less I like them. The days before stannery, celebs were idols not in the sense that we looked up to them, but in the sense they were semi-perfect and did a damn good job in entertaining us. Today, celebs do more entertaining behind the scenes (unintentionally, but I could be wrong) as opposed to their um... day jobs. So how 'bout this? The celebs with potential go get some business that's not calling paparazzi for flicks, sending bloggers press releases and tweeting their cringe-worthy mundaneness. Creole! When ya lowkey real good.

2. If you wanna stand out in life, BE NORMAL. There are some people who are truly different. From the roota to the toota, they are strange on accident and don't care. They barely acknowledge it and it wouldn't ever get acknowledged if WE didn't bring it up. Most people though? Nope. They see a trend and try to set it but too late. Their quest to be different is everybody else's quest, too. In the end no one's really different. Everybody blends and the only ones that stand out are the ones frown up you and your highlighter hues and your Blade fade with the sew-in bang and the skinny jeans and your bumblebee eyelid locs. Tryna be Confucius and Solange and get a reality show and all that at the same time? You're thirtsty and by the time you get your shot, I hope you drown.

3. I don't know why but EVERYBODY WANTS CELEBREALITY these days. Regular folks with regular folk skills should have regular jobs. You aren't a rapper. You just see Lil' Wayne and 'nem doing it. You cannot act. You just wanna be on TV. You not important nor are you interesting. You don't deserve a reality show. How come nobody wants to be a doctor or a lawyer or a crocodile hunter anymore?

That's all I ask for in 2010. Less Ochocinco, more Johnson. Less Barbie, more accent. That's it.

: )