Full Clips: Mike Epps - Tryna Be A Gangsta

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So Mike Epps gets a bigger budget than half these nucket bucket R&B hoes for his videos? That nigga ain't even no singer/rapper... And I laugh.

This Shit Right Here...

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Niggas. Don't. Preciate. Shit.

I understand that you hungry and all that jazz, but my peoples... Wal-Mart never runs out of food. Stop being so damn greedy and lazy and care yo' ass to the grocery store and find some chicken to fry YO DAMN SELF!? You feel me? No? Well, maybe I'm not clear 'nuff.


Talmbout Popeye's don't wanna make no money? Bye, Felicia. They made enough, they obviously sold out. Sure the price was ridiculously low. Sure. Why not go get you and "your family" [I see you big guy at 0:50] a nice box to bring home? Would these people rather Popeye's stay open, so they can walk in and Keishanana at the front counter tell them they ran outta chicken? They'd be ready to pull KeKe smooth across the counter.

My people. We have got to do better.

*Tee-Tee had first dibs. Fuck off.

Creole Fatal Attraction

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I wanted to round my day care friends and go see a matinee screening of the biggest blockbuster smash performance by a female lead since Kelly Rowland's portrayl of Kia in Freddy vs Jason. Disappointingly so, no go... Every screening in the tri-state area will be sold out further notice. I know I we all can do better things with my time like:

1. Learn how to recycle and go green.
2. Catch up on my Late Night with Jimmy Fallon
3. Audition for The Real World Saskatchewan
4. Wig crypt duty... I have SERIOUS competition.
5. Teach Tee-Tee her ABCs and enunciation.

Eh... Until further notice. I'm on ticket duty. Besides, I promised Zahara I'd let her see "That black lady whoop that nasty, white hoe's ass".

Black women...

I Give It An F for Fuckery

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Nowadays shit I find on major blogs [that spike my interest] I no longer bother reposting here, so y'all can get my point of view on it. But this shit right here that FRESH laced y'all with? I wanna call these two young thugs Jubilee & Blimpee. It just seems so befitting of them. Is befitting a word? Did I use it correctly?

I digress.

Fuck all that dancing. Not that I don't like dancing*, it's just that these moves they sticking is a lil' "Majah Werk". The HALLE BERRY jig ain't even that homo. These niggas stopped posed and gave face from the 1:15 to the 1:51 mark better than the bitches on Drag Race. Dallas's street cred took another hit today.

*I watched Wild Out Wednesday on 106 & Park on THE NIGGA NETWORK and I saw a dance called "The Hammerhead" that I found quite enjoyable. I highly recommend somebody to YouTube it. Thank you in advanced.

For My Fuckery Enthusiasts

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First of all, where props are due to WYGBA. Secondly, is her cooking that damn good or is shawty just really sure that Dominique's pussy don't sit up as high as hers? I wonder if "I make a mean tetrazzini that would make you leave good pussy" makes a hot selling point in your craigslist profile?


Either way, Dominique's chicken tetrazzini is hereby a new item on the Creole Pimp Dolla Menu.

Roll, Bounce...

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Leave Bow Wow alone!


Sure, Bow Wow said he was HOMOPHOBIC... that's his business.

 Is you mad, because Bow Wow didn't want no boy that likes boys cutting his hair? That's that mayne. If he don't want some possibly gay guy feeling and rubbing and caressing and finger his scalp, then let that nigga not want that. Bow Wow ain't never did nothing to nobody. You won't buy his record, because he's homophobic. Bow Wow is a good man. He tried to make an honest woman outta Ciara, Dollicia, Omarion and Soulja Boy. This how you treat him? Despicable

I, myself, don't blame him. That's why I don't let gay men cut my hair. Ain't no telling who be doing what with they hands these days. I only let my Granny comb, moisturize, perm, and rod my hair. Only thing she do with her hands is fondle my Pop Pop's nutts. I can trust her. I can't trust gay men.

I don't want no gay man touching my head, even though all he's doing is giving me a line. That's gay.

I also don't want no gay man preparing my sammiches at McDonald's. Ain't no telling what they do to my sammich when I'm waiting at the drive thru. Niggas these days is nasty. A straight man would never fuck over my sammich, even if I had beef with him. He wouldn't kick my patty back and forth to his co-workers like a hockey puck,  dress my sammich, then serve it to me like ain't nothing wrong. But a gay men? Nah... Gay men fixing your food... I don't care if it was my last meal. That's still gay.

I also don't want a gay man installing my cable. You watch flicks. You be at the adult bookstore on late Thursday nights/early Friday mornings. You watch Xtube. You see the themed movies. You know about the cable man hooking up your TV, then hooking you up. You know how cable men get down. You know all cable men are naked underneath that dark navy jumpsuit. A straight brother? Cool, he can hook my DirecTV/Comcast up anyday. I can trust him. A gay dude? Nah, that's gay homie.

I don't even want a gay dude's kidney. I don't care if he had the best kidney in the world. I don't care if he was a virgin. Never even touched a dick NOT EVEN HIS OWN. He can be kin to Obama. I don't give a fuck. I'd just die. Tell my momma I love her, then  die. I can't have gay parts in me. That's gay.

Hop off Bow Wow's nuts, yo'. He is already short. Now you want him to get molested by a man? AGAIN!? Let that bitch breathe.

And Now A Word From Our Sponsors...

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Now I may SWAGGER JACK and I may get my tasteless kicks out of stereotyping a toddler into something he's not, but rarely do I break character, speak to you as I am, and use this blog as my own outlet to the people. But today, "The Management" was trollicking [trolling + frollicking] my all-time favorite BLOG [get in there!] and I found my new all-time favorite guilty pleasure.


Oh my damn... Geisha's song embodies my twenty-fo seventy sev mindframe. This chick is choking a bitch in her video... Then she said she'd Naomi Campbell you so hard, you'd hear the dial tone... probably for the rest of your life. Thank ya, thank ya, Lord I wanna thank ya... Geisha is a motherfucking poet and if I were speaking to you as LCP, he'd wanna hump her.

Where else can you find a female [rapper these days] who will get sexy AND violent... at the same damn time. Notice I didn't end that sentence with a question mark, because that was a rhetorical STATEMENT. You ain't gon' find another bitch like her. She got out on a bitch just for walking up to her with a question and the girl wasn't even beligerent to her. Usually, I woulda sat Geisha down and we woulda talked about when and when not to hit a bitch that walks up on you* but all I can say is go head on.

This shit here knocks... and you can knock a ho out while you arching ya back and cascading ya ass from left to right. Eat your pussy heart out, Trina. I was gone stick it out and work it out and stick it out and work it out and stick it out and work it out and wait for Lil' Kim to get back on her forreal, forreal, but now you can expect me to start a petition to get Def Jam to sign Geisha...

I mean, shit... She IS from 305... She can get Khaled to say "Who" and "Nigga" on her track along with about fiddyleven other niggas as featured artists. Rarely do I plan out another person's career, let alone a performing artist, but this chick needs the spotlight like O.J. needs parole.

Do she got a Myspace? I don't even fuck with MyFace of SpaceBook and I'm asking y'all about it. It's that serious. Don't pass Geisha off as the next hood, dick sucking ho... This is that real deal forreal forreal...

*Finger pointing, neck rolling, mouth popping, voice volume raising will get you choked on the spot... I throw down where I'm mad at. Who has time to stop and think about it during this recession?