Family Biz: I'm Rich, Bitch ! HONK HONK!

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And I will live [richer dinna mug] until I die:
Matthew Knowles, the manager and father of the pop star BeyoncĂ©, is not the kind of guy who needs a handout from Uncle Sam. His daughter and her husband, the rapper Jay-Z, are reportedly worth $265 million, his record company has sold 200 million albums, and his investments include an entire city block near downtown Houston.  Even so, Knowles is in linefor a lucrative taxpayer-backed bailout. A federally-funded disaster relief program is set to purchase his home in Galveston, Texas, which was rendered nearly worthless by damage from Hurricane Ike, for something close to its original value: A cool $425,000. 

Bruh. We done made it! Before you start talking shit, look at your wallet, now look back at me, now look at your wallet, now back at me. 400Gs sound good right about now? Thought so.

You can be rich all your life and not be shit and a half, but when Uncle Sam is throwing dollars at you like some kinda strip club bitch, you have made it! In the words of Yung Eli, we did it. Tee Tee passed on her cut of the bailout, because she got VVS cuff links and her bag match the color of her nails and she sick and filthy of being so damn loaded. This here is chump change to her. Mo' beef for us! I'm five and the most expensive thing I buy is the two pound bag of Twizzlers so I say, HERE! HERE! And Momma can finally pay the rent without having to pawn another wig Tee-Tee handed down to her, decreasing its value! 

Of course, the first born gets the first cut so Kelly wins this time, but I'ma get my cut before Nixon gets his so BAM!

I Wanna Be One Less

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You must reach the 2:10 mark. You CAN'T fast forward. You have to watch it all the way through to get the full effect of this video. Get past the spoken word. Get past the sticky bun hairpiece. Get past the Rihanna singing "Hero" at the talent show vocals. Get past the Master Splinter face. Get past the fact that she's a baby chile. JUST PLEASE watch it all the way through!