The Grammys are wack as all Ray-J. If it wasn't for live Twitter recaps, I wouldn't have watched. To be honest, I never watch. I have a hangup about traditional award shows that were once whites-only clubs. The Grammys. The Oscars. The Emmys. The VMAs. I wasn't never feeling 'em. I've seen a few VMAs, but none of the others before tonight. Well, the first Grammy show I watched was the one with Prince, Beyonce, & the dove. Performances as sporadically dope like that one deserve my viewer count. If you follow me on Twitter, then you saw how I felt about the show last night.
To quote a wise mind, it was an emo festival of epic proportions. (I think @LuvvieIG said that).
All slow songs everything. I was relieved when The Fantastic Four took the stage and did "I Got A Feeling", and again when Jamie Foxx and T-Pain ol' looking ass boy ass got on stage. Pink's aerial attack performance made me wish I was an air marshal. I'll give her props though. Not any recording artist will do that shit with her disrespectful ass body. (I think Miss Jia said that last night). It had me in a giggle fit that was more entertaining than this disrespectful ass show. The 52nd Grammys were so uneventful it's disrespectful to snoozefests, everywhere.
And I didn't appreciate how they hyped a Michael tribute. I expected dancing, bitches, and beer. You give me Celine Dion? I can hit it big at a slot machine in Vegas and see that bitch for free.99 anytime. Ain't nothing Creole in my world tryna get hype about Celine or Usher. Although, Effie White came out and brought the "What about me? What about what I need?" swagger with her. Meaning, she had on a pair of Keri Hilson's bangs. By the way, if you didn't peep @ItsTootie's futurelove/shadefest to Miss Skeri Bangsy, you hate Christ. I think Maxwell is modern-day Ray Charles, but that's a compliment and probably the only real compliment I've given so far.
Before I really rant, let me say this....
The biggest boss that you've seen thus far graced the stage and gave ya life! Fuck the Grammys. No, thanks galore. I did think about whooping Rihanna's ass before the Grammys for old time's sake. She was game. We all laughed about it in the helicopter ride on the way to the Staples Center. I decided to take a rain check and beat her ass after the show. I'm five and you picking me up to speak into the mic? That's so disrespectful! Let me digress really quick... Momma was so jealous when she saw me on stage. She never been up there, but ya boy? Hahahaha.
Now that that's that. And that this is this:
Let's talk about this:
No thanks. Before you start talking shit, let me clarify. The homie @ThroatChopU argued that Taylor was the recipient of much success before the Fuck Yo' Coloring Book fiasco. I agree. Taylor was selling albums and soon to step out of the country barrier into some Pop success. Was it deserving, though? When I say "Bitch, please" I'm not using manners. I think false ass musicians were brought on by the hailstorm success of Britney Spears. Sure, Britney was nice on the eyes and her team had her story straight, but her success is mildly bordering on a whole lotta Fuck Yo' Coloring Book status. It just lead to more and more vapid ass success stories from limitedly talented artists. Taylor may sound good on her tracks, but so can Keri, Miley, and on a fair day Cassie. Live vocals ain't on deck for Swift. Her notes were leaning on that codeine last night and it doesn't help that Stevie Nicks was backing her. That's like Keyshia and Monica at BET Awards 09. And Stevie didn't even have a solo or none of that shit. That alone proves the sympathy success is still afoot. Anybody in Hollywood is ready to jump on Team Swift, because Kanye took candy from a baby.
Other ways Taylor received sympathy last night:
1) They gave her a total of nine and three-quarters hours worth of acceptance speech time.
2) All the nods. So much nominations. So much nominations. It's unusual for someone so young to get so much Grammy love. She's been here for four years according to WikiP, but still very, very rare.
3) Album of the Year.
Bullshit, if anybody's ever called it. Gaga couldn't get the Best New Artist nod last year (even though Adele was deserving) but Taylor Swift can win the whole shabang? Fuck yo' coloring book and bitch, I'm stealing ya crayons. I'd like Taylor more if she'd acknowledge Attack of the Kanye was somewhat pivotal to her stampeding popularity as fo late. I'd love her if she ate something, looking like Tales of the Crypt 2K10's host. She is skinny. And she's tall as all fuck so a little weight wouldn't make her bad built or nothing. But that's just nitpicking at nothing, I just hate seeing little ass people. It just punches my soul to see decrepit motherfuckers. If I could read thoughts, I'd bet her conscious would be screaming "STOP AT McDONALD'S!" But I digress.
Beyonce should have won but she wasn't the most deserving. Ever since GaGa premiered it's been a mad mad rush of STFU to anybody else in a room with her. Mainly cause of the 'fits, but she can sing tickle the keys. Sing, play piano, and look a hot mess in the good way? Fuck your life, Alicia Keys. Boss up. I'm just saying, though. In comparison, talent and material wise it was I thought all favors pointed at Gaga.
But since, Kanye's Greatest Success Story won... No, thanks.