The homie LOOSENECK just sent ya homeboy a text talmbout "Yo' auntie just told herself 'Ho, have a seat' and she taking six-months personal leave." You know what I think? I think we need to double down on that six months and make it a year. I'd patiently wait until TwentyLeven for Tee-Tee and Yeezy to come back and make every Rap/R&B panhandler feel smaller than Bow Wow in line for the roller coaster..

Beyonce's New Year's resolution is at once ambitious and surprising. The multitasking superstar, who was seemingly everywhere in 2009, hopes to spend a good chunk of 2010 not working.

"It's definitely time to take a break, to recharge my batteries," says Beyoncé, 28. "I'd like to take about six months and not go into the studio. I need to just live life, to be inspired by things again." SOURCE

GaGa is known for putting on bird's nest, zebra hair and a giant pacifier and calling it fashion, so until viewing this video I didn't know what her face looked like. And after seeing it, I'm sure I'm gonna die in seven six days a la The Ring. While you count the minutes 'til our [you watched too, don't lie], let's list things Gaga looks like by the face.

-CARIDEE ENGLISH
-BLOSSOM [But that's not in my OPINIONATION]
-Captain Hook
-The Candy Man's hook
-Something I saw in Happy Feet
-Johnny Cage's elbows
-Synclaire after a Vodka Stinger
-The key Queen Latifah wore around her neck on Living Single [I'm sure I read this in The Bocks about Lil' Kim's nose, but I'm not sure to whom deserves the credentials.]
-My Momma after a Sammy Sosa
-Pretty much Amy Winehouse but blonder and less emaciated
-The family of squirrels living in Winehouse's beehive

...you fucking better. I'm the Lil' Creole Pimp Formerly Known as Baby Daniel. I struggled and strived to win this award. Do you KNOW how hard it is to type out long, drawn out BS about BS just so I can BS with y'all? It's like taking standardized-tests...

I'd like to thank the fans. 'Specially the ones that currently frequent the comments section like Vanz, filthyCharm, Quick, Fake Frakie Cool (side-eye), MJ, and many others... I would name you all but they're starting to play the "wrap-it-up" music and now I have to go buss a few heads for rushing me.

Keep it pimping, pimping.

I don't care what nobody say... Bey was most definately not gonna show up at the BET Awards at all this year. She still busy riding that married camel dick. I know she should be used to camel dick, but married camel dick? You know you like it.

Anyway...

I saw it coming but I hoped otherwise. And for putting y'all nut bucket hoes on blast I gotta give it up, once again, to BEYONCEITIS.

Be sure to check out the labels. They struck the nail in my coffin.

DON'T EVER TAKE ANOTHER HIATUS EVER AGAIN!

I just got some good news and some bad news..

BAD NEWS: Word from AROUND THE WAY that "somebody's momma" will continue her Art of Love tour. I have disowned a few people in the past 72 hours so I don't know whose mother this is.

GOOD NEWS: She'll stop popping, hopping, skip and skopping and sit while performing. Since she got injured, she'll be seated on a stool center stage, like a damn hippie at Woodstock or something.

To me, this is neither good news nor bad news. It's progress. She's finally starting to go sat some damn where. This could lead to her sitting down for good. A celebration is in order. TIME TO PARTY!

So Suge Knight got what was coming for him last Saturday at the club.

I ran up on the fool and hit him with a few jabs to the knee area. He fell so damn hard, people in Japan felt the ground tremor and shit.

And Ion't 'preciate how the media talmbout they [his crew full of fuckboys and lackies] threw me on the ground and stomped me? A LIE!!! Kizzy had my lightweight. But on some real shit [1], what she lacks in album sale ability, she more than makes up for in street fightership.

But in hopes that Suge will forgive me and give me free studio time and street cred due to affiliation, I won't blacklist him... THIS TIME!!!

I'll post how it happened tomorrow... 'cause I'm up way past bedtime!

[1] Where props are due. On some real shit, I hate that shit too.