Lil' Creole Pimp
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Momma's Mishaps
Ay... Momma, you a punk. You could NOT pay me to apologize for some shit.... Then again, you put up a high price and I may cut you a deal...
I just got done doing the Early Show which went so good. I just wanna tell everyone thank you so much for going out and getting the record. I've been hearing great things and uh... all of that feels amazing for me. The record is doing good by my standards.
What she REALLY meant was...
Um... I just got through sweeping up the backstage area and nobody ran through my area after I finished mopping. YAY! I had enough time to go back to the broom closet and light some 'dro. I wanna thank y'all for going out and buying Sol-Angel & The Martin Luther King Blvd Nightmares [I see you FRESH -LCP]. I've been told it has done okay... I'm just happy that Billboard RETURNS my calls. The album is planned to outsell Miss Kelly, HOPEFULLY!
Get it now?
Lil' Creole Pimp
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Momma's Mishaps
Momma, what did Granny tell you 'bout this? She said if they ain't gon' leave no money on the nightstand or stop by the salon to prepay for yo' new weave that look like curly fries, ignore 'em until they get thrown off stage!
What am I gon' do with you?!
Lil' Creole Pimp
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Momma's Mishaps
Mama, now I can't hate on this Photoshop. You owe TRISHA a few BUDGET BEYAKI WIGS because this album cover is better than SOME ALBUM covers I've seen.
But I will say... I went to wrap up those cheese sticks we had left over from our WILD NIGHT at the 40/40 Club in LV and we ain't had no aluminum foil. I know your wardrobe has to be "top notch" but you gon' have to go make groceries and replace the REYNOLDS HEAVY DUTY.
But ay... you ain't the doghouse yet. If I hear one mo' damn remix to I Decided, I'ma put you back in that BOX where you felt so claustrophobic.
100TH POST!
Lil' Creole Pimp
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Momma's Mishaps
My momma may have not been a gem to the music world and she blurts out random shit like, "I sound high don't I... I promise I'm not high," on the regular, but she still a good momma. If there was a such thing as being a professional momma, then she'd be the Beyoncé of that field.
As I reflect on my momma's mishaps and achievements, I'm proud to be her son and in hopes of a more successful future, I salute you, Mom.
I salute you... for keeping your mouth closed (and not telling the world how I "accidentally" burned the neighbor's house down and not telling nobody about the time I pistol whipped Millie for stealing my ice-cream money) in this interview.
But I do NOT salute you for this kitchen ass wedding photo.
I know y'all gave Kizzy the week off from Wig Crypt duties and all, but damn. Beaver nut hair wig scheme just didn't mesh well with the pink. And that's the nicest way I can say it.
I'm surprised this chick ain't tryna tell the world about the sweatshop profits that the wig crypt is turning. Oops, said too much.
Lil' Creole Pimp
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Family Biz,
Momma's Mishaps,
Sound Bytes
Momma! I can't bump this in my Big Wheel? What I look like coming to the playground holla'n 'bout some "running me, running me, down"... when Dreamgirls dropped they clowned the hell outta me. Now I gotta relive it. I ain't saying it's wack now. It is different from the mess on the radio nowadays (a thug can only crank that shoe polish remover so much)... BUT... Nevermind. I've said too much already.
Let a thug know what y'all think... Talk ya noise.
PS
Pharrell, when y'all gone come through the studio and lay a track down with me for my album.
Lil' Creole Pimp
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Momma's Mishaps,
Where My Daddy At?
I have to just be a good person and let somebody know when they making a complete fool of they self. Now I may not be the right person to tell somebody ANYTHING without sounding like a hypocrite, but I think it's fair to say this:
MOMMA, GOSATCHOSSDOWN RIGHT NOW!
What the fuck mom? HadleyStreetDreams? I ain't even gone go there withchu because I know you my ride to the playground every weekend but let's not bring up Solo Star. I know it was before my time and all but 90,000 copies? Let's get serious. Unless you gone drop and give the Billboard charts people 50 just stop.
But if you are to go through with this new project riddle me this: who gone be there to feed me? Millie? Millie forgot to feed me last night, Momma. The Spaghetti-Os is still in the microwave. THEY STILL THE MICROWAVE! I CAN'T REACH THE MICROWAVE!
