...this may be why. You can hate, but you know I love it. I admire the way he was texting his juvie and handling his Newport. His skill set is on some District 9 shit. You jealous? His parents proud. Be mad all you won't. Matter fact, today in school ['cuz I'm all up in the kindergarten nowadays] some broad sitting a few seats away from me was coloring and a pack of Kools fell out her fanny pack. The teacher wanted to scold her and shit talmbout the dangers of smoking. I told her "Don't save her. She don't wanna be saved. Let that guh smo'!"

She let me bum a square by the slide at recess. She ugly, though, so I ain't finna holla.

The devil has been busy all week long. This by no means top what's happened so far, but.... Just click it. Just do it. I hate you @BELLABOSS for alla this. Chama lives.

Y'all gone have to forgive me, because I just found out George Carlin has been dead since 2008 and I thought he was still running round the globe, chilling and shit. I feel very late so...

KERRVILLE, Texas (AP) - Prosecutors will review the case of a woman authorities claim has called 911 30 times over six months for non-emergency reasons, including a call to complain that her husband refused to eat his dinner.

...Police were dispatched to the residence and officer Paul Gonzales said police were told by her that "her husband did not want to eat his supper." A police report said the 53-year-old woman was also yelling "about things that happened two weeks ago."

The woman now faces charges of 911 abuse. [SOURCE]

I feel like this was an episode of Mama's Family. I only think the cops give a fuck now, because Xmas is around the corner and they didn't want her calling because nobody wanted her fruitcake. In her defense, recession. Waste. Food. Get. Shot.

Cut the check.

Slap me for thinking they'd be a Kwanza fam this year. Fuck what ya heard, my fam ain't this cruel. Ya see how Kimora is all dolled up and the baby is all precious while the kids look like slightly tragic. Slighty. Pokemon Dijimon Monsoon is a buster for putting that holiday Cosby sweater on.

Props to Q of Madbloggers. His idea for a remake of THREE'S COMPANY looks promising to me, too.

The title says it all. Twitter is on my nerves. That's neither good nor bad. It's complex even though it sounds really simple. For starters, my GRANNY and my TEE-TEE got pages up on there and that shit ain't cool bruh. I mean damn, my momma and Wale ol' booger nose bougie ass already on there. Now these two? Why you think I'm avoiding Facebook?

But that ain't the half. It seems like what seemed to be a good thing, has "faulted itself". You know how you follow me (you do follow me, right?) and you see me tweeting funny shit to funny people? So you follow them? And then they follow you? And so on and so forth until it's one big MyCircle type affair? Sounds cool on paper, but it ain't.

Why?

Why?


Why?

Because originality has been AWOL since the season finale of The Basic Bitches of Buckhead. Every thing The Chama say, every thing Fresh and 'nem say, every thing Lil Big Kim and Big Lil Kim and Medium Small Kim say ends up repeated twelve times the next day as if it's still funny. Basically plain ass basic tweets are becoming retweets without the "RT" in them.

If I sound like I'm in a bad mood, really I'm not. Maybe I should switch from my "Take It Down For All The Lovers Out There" iTunes playlist to my "Fuck The World And The Horse It Rode In On" playlist. Actual playlist names. R&B makes me think and Hip-Hop [any kind] makes me jig. Shit, I'd jig to a Mos Def track, to an Algebra track, to Uncle Joe exclusive. But I digress.

That's not my only fault with Twitter, y'all. Besides "exclusive" circles that we all fuck and fight within, there are "inclusive" circles, if those are real words. These inclusive circles are like six degrees of separation in Twitter form. It's probably the only way you could link Ciara to the Billboard charts or Omarion to some pussy. In these inclusive circles, everybody is connected to everybody. Motherfuckers you ain't never heard of, don't know them from a box of washing powder, pop up in your timeline via @replies or that bogusoity-laced official RT button. I love receiving love in my @replies. I hate seeing strangers in my timeline via RT. Sometimes they be ugly as hell. Sometimes they be so pretty, I'm caught off guard. Sometimes... I can't. Either way, I'd like to wake up from this beautiful nightmare.

But that's not even it... It's... this:

That's my homie. We don't beef no more but still... This?

Ion't want no homo ass Goldeen.

But

that






ain't







nothing







compared to








THIS:









Bruh..

...is why I hate your cousins. Give them dexterity and they come back to Booty Do? If you like it then, shit, I guess.

No words are needed.

Mariah... Nick... I'm laughing at you. Hard!

I did a spit take and everything.


Two CDs in one slot, drew the line. I was just so outta body experience for no fucking reason at two CDs in one slot. Damn, MiMi... What kinda butterfly is you? Cut the check. I'm packing my bags and moving to Alaska to occupy Palin's chair. Until further notice.

Eminem has slaughtered and shitted on you hoes. The thing is... Nick Cannon is sooooooo wack as a rapper, there's no way in cybernetic hell he could go harder than Slim Shady just went. See, Nick grew up with a stage mom, I'm sure... How else did he land that All That gig. Y'all remember him as LaTanya and Keenan Thompson as LaNeesha. Y'all know y'all remember, "I know you didn't. I think he did" LaTanya and LaNeesha. Or is that just me? My point is... Eminem was reared with all that hate and pent up anger and that coupled with Mariah denying and shit just fuels him to cut up on a diss track.  Mariah has fucked up. I repeat. MARIAH HAS FUCKED UP!

Clearly, she done messed with the wrong non-nigga. My thing is this... Why is she denying being with Em? What's that gonna do to her career? Who is Nick s'posed to be for her to deny? Eminem is waaaaay more famous than Nick? Is that supposed to fuck with his ego or something? Only reason white people know Nick [or the reason he's getting work nowadays] is because he's married to Moo Moo. So if that's the case, then yeah... It must fuck up his ego somethin' serious.