If you want the ringtone, the MP3 is right HERE. I do it cuz I love ya

Still celebrating the 300th post of "The You Have No Life, Mystery Blogger Chronicles", so I thought I'd see a movie. It was a toss up between The Blind Side and Precious. I can't embed the trailer to either movie due to YouTube being a bitch, so I let the clip below decide.

Precious [say it like Gollum] for the win. Creole! When I link you to fuckery real good. Furthermore, get in THIS.

Thanks MJ.

He told y'all that if you gave him a lil' space that he'd really lose his mind? Don't believe me?



4:00 mark.

Y'all ain't ready.

I know rape when I see it. If you ever going to the islands, get you some "fat man just landed on me insurance". Get yo' shit together because you may never ever walk again after hitting up one of these clubs. No Limit Tuesdays is Not Safe For Life. This shit right here... [DURTY MO] is responsible for this wackiness!

Nowadays shit I find on major blogs [that spike my interest] I no longer bother reposting here, so y'all can get my point of view on it. But this shit right here that FRESH laced y'all with? I wanna call these two young thugs Jubilee & Blimpee. It just seems so befitting of them. Is befitting a word? Did I use it correctly?

I digress.

Fuck all that dancing. Not that I don't like dancing*, it's just that these moves they sticking is a lil' "Majah Werk". The HALLE BERRY jig ain't even that homo. These niggas stopped posed and gave face from the 1:15 to the 1:51 mark better than the bitches on Drag Race. Dallas's street cred took another hit today.

*I watched Wild Out Wednesday on 106 & Park on THE NIGGA NETWORK and I saw a dance called "The Hammerhead" that I found quite enjoyable. I highly recommend somebody to YouTube it. Thank you in advanced.

First of all, where props are due to WYGBA. Secondly, is her cooking that damn good or is shawty just really sure that Dominique's pussy don't sit up as high as hers? I wonder if "I make a mean tetrazzini that would make you leave good pussy" makes a hot selling point in your craigslist profile?


Hmm...


Either way, Dominique's chicken tetrazzini is hereby a new item on the Creole Pimp Dolla Menu.

Leave Bow Wow alone!

:mad:

Sure, Bow Wow said he was HOMOPHOBIC... that's his business.



 Is you mad, because Bow Wow didn't want no boy that likes boys cutting his hair? That's that mayne. If he don't want some possibly gay guy feeling and rubbing and caressing and finger his scalp, then let that nigga not want that. Bow Wow ain't never did nothing to nobody. You won't buy his record, because he's homophobic. Bow Wow is a good man. He tried to make an honest woman outta Ciara, Dollicia, Omarion and Soulja Boy. This how you treat him? Despicable

I, myself, don't blame him. That's why I don't let gay men cut my hair. Ain't no telling who be doing what with they hands these days. I only let my Granny comb, moisturize, perm, and rod my hair. Only thing she do with her hands is fondle my Pop Pop's nutts. I can trust her. I can't trust gay men.

I don't want no gay man touching my head, even though all he's doing is giving me a line. That's gay.

I also don't want no gay man preparing my sammiches at McDonald's. Ain't no telling what they do to my sammich when I'm waiting at the drive thru. Niggas these days is nasty. A straight man would never fuck over my sammich, even if I had beef with him. He wouldn't kick my patty back and forth to his co-workers like a hockey puck,  dress my sammich, then serve it to me like ain't nothing wrong. But a gay men? Nah... Gay men fixing your food... I don't care if it was my last meal. That's still gay.

I also don't want a gay man installing my cable. You watch flicks. You be at the adult bookstore on late Thursday nights/early Friday mornings. You watch Xtube. You see the themed movies. You know about the cable man hooking up your TV, then hooking you up. You know how cable men get down. You know all cable men are naked underneath that dark navy jumpsuit. A straight brother? Cool, he can hook my DirecTV/Comcast up anyday. I can trust him. A gay dude? Nah, that's gay homie.

I don't even want a gay dude's kidney. I don't care if he had the best kidney in the world. I don't care if he was a virgin. Never even touched a dick NOT EVEN HIS OWN. He can be kin to Obama. I don't give a fuck. I'd just die. Tell my momma I love her, then  die. I can't have gay parts in me. That's gay.



Hop off Bow Wow's nuts, yo'. He is already short. Now you want him to get molested by a man? AGAIN!? Let that bitch breathe.

This is what Pretty Chrissy wanted to play on the drive back to his hotel. I'm not one to judge or point fingers so...

Before you start to run your mouth and assume, making you and yours look dumb, it wasn't my fault. Me and my momma and LudaWeezyWhiteMan or whoever she bringing "home" tonight, got kicked out of our place. They just kicked us out. Didn't tell us shit! I'm lying... Hold up... Let me correct that. They did tell us not to go around starting no more parking lot fights and to stop throwing bricks through folks' windshields, but they ain't never gave us one good reason to not do it.

I ain't one to name names (Thou shall not snitch), so if I'ma tell you the story, I'ma keep the innocent anonymous. I don't put folks business in the street, unlike you.. Sandra Troll Face Rose.

It started a while ago... Few months back... This old, Agatha Christie, old ass lady who thought she knew every fucking thing before it even fucking happened, got into it with my momma. She told my momma to stop parking in her spot or she was gonna leak some EXCLUSIVE info 'bout every dick my momma didn't turn down to every tabloid depserate for a cover story.

We busted her shit. Plain and simple. 532 years old or not. We busted her shit.

Then a lil' while after that, my caretaker/mother/weed gardener, got into it with this neighbor we got. You ever seen them plants with the really, really sharp "leaves" that prick you when you touch them? Her hair looked like a bushel of those plants. She just had this itchy ass looking scalp, with this sharp, spritzed up hair. This razor head lady came and shook me because I pushed her child for stepping on my Ed Hardy sneakers. Oh motherfucking well... Tell that ho to man up and grow some. Get some dexterity or something. She got a lil' too loud with my momma and couldn't control her vocal volumes.

We busted her shit.

This one dude... Mayne, you ever see somebody and you don't even gotta hear 'em talk or laugh or even much breathe and just know they like to... Mayne, I ain't gon' even do homie like that. He know what the the business be.

YOU COULDN'T PAY ME TO FIGHT HIM! I don't slapbox.

So all this happened and happened and happened. And ain't nothing wrong. It's all good and then BAM! This off-kilt quick weave wearing "motorscooter" (property of CELESTINE A. FIERCE) told my momma, she wasn't raising me right. I ain't had no hometraining. I'm too young to thug it like that. I ain't gone live to see kindergarten. I'ma fuck around and get touched by Michael Jackson or R.Kelly if he get desperate enough. Just bad mouthing me... You know my momma don't play that shit. They still looking for that fast ass, corny ass, no good ass, country ass, drawstring ponytail wearing ass, fighting in the McDonald's porking lot over some houseshoes ass, Nordic loving ass motherfucker who been using my likeness to crack stupid lil' jokes on the Internet or some shit.

SOME PEOPLE!

My momma was heated.

My momma, Kelly, Michelle, Nivea, Nicole Wray, LisaRaye, Ray-Ray (the girl), Ray-Ray (the boy that act like a girl) and my uncle Cuttino busted her bad.

She went to the hospital and everything. ICU. Bandages. Stitches and shit. She really got fucked up. Her family didn't even recognize her... She looked worse than she did before she got her shit busted and that's a hard feat to accomplish. We talking about a REALLY UGLY BITCH here.

Big Lip Ricky Ricky Rickay, our landlord, just changed our locks on us and shit. Barred the windows. Didn't even tell us shit. Just locked us out. Left a note on the door saying we ain't welcome to live there no more.

Our shit is still in there everything. Everything that made us who we are. I left the Wig Crypt employment application forms in there. My momma left the gud in there. Kizzy lost her career in there and was this close (||) to finding it. Now it's over.

We ain't got no where else to go.

Can you help us?