Wayne should do the time to justify the crime [I see you, Jessie Jackson's rhyming dictionary], but Rikers? I don't know much about NYC other than my auntie herds camels there, but isn't Rikers like the top flight security prison? Or is it just depicted that way in art and film? I'm confused. Where my Daddy at? He could 'splain this. Wayne may not be one, but I still think he went down swinging like a real Creole. I don't know why but I always think of what's gonna happen to somebody on the inside. Will they run the jail or will they run from everybody in the jail. T.I. said when he was locked up he got much respect because he was a top flight security rapper, but will Wayne? Those pics of him kissing Baby may put some thoughts in Negroes' heads. I said Negro because it's Black History Month.

I think I found out why Tony stopped calling...

Nah... There's definitely something wrong with his phone... To be on the safe side don't sit by yours waiting for it to ring. For good measure, I'm gonna ask Brandy Jesus to take the shopping cart wheel.

This post was almost a "Lost In Translation" exclusive, but I don't even understand the Creole Dynamics anymore...

"Then I remember being 16 and being like ‘Okay, I can still be smart and I can still have the same beliefs that I have, but I did not have to have red Rasta braids. I can do that with straight hair. I can do that with a ‘fro. I can do that with a weave down to my butt.’ That was when I first cut my hair off. When I was 18 I got a hot flash because I was pregnant with [Julez] and I was like ‘It’s hot as hell so I’m cutting this shit off."

[-SOLO DA DON]

It's true. My Tee-Tee put in a petition for me to see her sing for the lovely Obamas, who I'm sure will write me a pardon for busting up Bobby Buford's BBQ Hall & Bingo Hut. What you frowning up for? When I say I want hot wings, don't send me no damn semi-mild wings. I like for my shit to be damn near ablaze when they send it to my table, thank you very much. And if it's any other way, somebody's gonna be checking into ER holding they brain in one hand and they heart in the other. I don't play that shit... I don't care if mon Président est noir... I still tote steal.

I'ma change one day though. Just for Sasha...

Nappy hair, don't care.

Word done got out that my momma went on a date with Ludacris. Bitch, you done made me mad. No I didn't just call my momma a bitch. I'm talking to Ludacris. How you gon' come through and scoop up my momma... You know I'm tryna holla at Karma.

I may not approve of the relationship but I ain't gon' do my momma like that. I mean, finally we can get her hitched to a real breadwinner.

Luda, I'm gonna need you to fill out this questionnaire and get it back to me by Friday. Friday, 12:00 midnight. Not 12:01. Not 12:00:01. Twelve on that dot.

1. Have you ever contracted a venereal disease?

2. Has Superhead ever put your business in the street?

3. You ever did a song with 5Ton4Head?

4. What is Karma's cell phone number?

5. If Train A leaves Memphis at 5:00 AM going at 230 MPH and Train B leaves from Boston at 6:40 AM going at 180 MPH, what time does Karma get home from school?

6. Where my Daddy at?

7. If I pull up in a million trucks and I was looking, smelling and/or feeling like a million bucks, would you hate on me?

8. You ever caught cooties as a kid?

9. If yes, how did you get rid of it?

10. Yes or no... Did Chingy call you a la Young Buck begging for his contract back?

You could smell the fuckery and bitchassness (I promsie I'll stop saying that) in the air as Puff The Magic Dragon received his star on The Hollywood Walk of Fame. Bear with me as I roll my eyes, for this IS NOT a sign of homoness but it is a sign of wishing these niggas would go sit down. People hate on me 'cuz I got that pimping in my bloodline, but they gave this fool a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame just because he pimped a few "lucky" contestants in numerous musical competitions on MTV. Don't throw no shade about that whole "early-to-mid '90s Bad Boy mess. You know the YTs never cared for Puff back then.

But that's not my aim today. My aim is squeezing the air out of Justin's lungs. That ninja stole my apple juice at lunch one day. I damn near lost my religion.

Here are some tidbits that floated through my dome after seeing this pic:

• Do all of these kids belong to Puff?
• Just when you thought fucking for tracks was the lowest of all lows, Kim Porter invents fucking for Red Carpet appearances.
• What make Justin SO special that he get to wear a darker-colored khaki suit?
• How come the dark-skinned dude can't get a S-Curl? Whycome y'all won't let his soul glow? I mean DAMN... Only Creolians get to single out people and make them fade into the background.
• Whycome them girls hair still SO short? Damn... I'm one to talk.
• Seeing Diddy with all these kids make me wonder: Where MY daddy at?
  

And Janice Combs.... whenever you are BACK IN BUSINESS, my granny will be readily waiting. Take that!

Dick beaters everywhere are in a frenzy because it's been semi-confirmed (AGAIN!!!!) that my Aunt and Uncle are married. In other no shit news, fire is hot, two plus two equals four, Khia is a bull-dagger hating beaver and Mariah owes her figure to Photoshop.

I'm 'bout sick of this wedding business. Shit was three, almost four weeks ago. I got my own problems. For instance: Where is my daddy?

I'ma ask my Daddy to buy me a Nick Jr. hoodie. Does my daddy even have a steady paycheck coming in?

I have to just be a good person and let somebody know when they making a complete fool of they self. Now I may not be the right person to tell somebody ANYTHING without sounding like a hypocrite, but I think it's fair to say this:

MOMMA, GOSATCHOSSDOWN RIGHT NOW!

What the fuck mom? HadleyStreetDreams? I ain't even gone go there withchu because I know you my ride to the playground every weekend but let's not bring up Solo Star. I know it was before my time and all but 90,000 copies? Let's get serious. Unless you gone drop and give the Billboard charts people 50 just stop.

But if you are to go through with this new project riddle me this: who gone be there to feed me? Millie? Millie forgot to feed me last night, Momma. The Spaghetti-Os is still in the microwave. THEY STILL THE MICROWAVE! I CAN'T REACH THE MICROWAVE!