Y'all gone have to forgive me, because I just found out George Carlin has been dead since 2008 and I thought he was still running round the globe, chilling and shit. I feel very late so...

KERRVILLE, Texas (AP) - Prosecutors will review the case of a woman authorities claim has called 911 30 times over six months for non-emergency reasons, including a call to complain that her husband refused to eat his dinner.

...Police were dispatched to the residence and officer Paul Gonzales said police were told by her that "her husband did not want to eat his supper." A police report said the 53-year-old woman was also yelling "about things that happened two weeks ago."

The woman now faces charges of 911 abuse. [SOURCE]

I feel like this was an episode of Mama's Family. I only think the cops give a fuck now, because Xmas is around the corner and they didn't want her calling because nobody wanted her fruitcake. In her defense, recession. Waste. Food. Get. Shot.

Cut the check.

Slap me for thinking they'd be a Kwanza fam this year. Fuck what ya heard, my fam ain't this cruel. Ya see how Kimora is all dolled up and the baby is all precious while the kids look like slightly tragic. Slighty. Pokemon Dijimon Monsoon is a buster for putting that holiday Cosby sweater on.

Props to Q of Madbloggers. His idea for a remake of THREE'S COMPANY looks promising to me, too.

You see that? That's real ostrich fur. Only the best for my Creolians.

Over the weekend, I've heard Drake being called: a) a foot b) handsome c) a dog d) translucent. And the latter came from my mouth [RE: homerow key]. But has it bothered Big Wheel Brooks? Hell nah. This hound dog went hunting with Elmer Fudd and whatever avian animal they slaughtered, he got a fur coat out of the deal. And that's just one of the perks from being man's best friend.

...in high school you was the man homie. What happened to you !?

Apparently, the Smart Guy himself, Tahj Mowry, is a actor turnt sanga and shit these days. He phoned this shit in and his call needs to drop. In the words of the great JORIDIOR, when you become a hasbeen actor, "Start a family. Milk a goat. Eat a dick. Goodbye."

Marcus, Yvette, Mo', Mackey, Ray Campbell, SOMEBODY... come get TJ, stat!

I think I found out why Tony stopped calling...

Nah... There's definitely something wrong with his phone... To be on the safe side don't sit by yours waiting for it to ring. For good measure, I'm gonna ask Brandy Jesus to take the shopping cart wheel.

This post was almost a "Lost In Translation" exclusive, but I don't even understand the Creole Dynamics anymore...

"Then I remember being 16 and being like ‘Okay, I can still be smart and I can still have the same beliefs that I have, but I did not have to have red Rasta braids. I can do that with straight hair. I can do that with a ‘fro. I can do that with a weave down to my butt.’ That was when I first cut my hair off. When I was 18 I got a hot flash because I was pregnant with [Julez] and I was like ‘It’s hot as hell so I’m cutting this shit off."

[-SOLO DA DON]

"When I grab the mic and spit I oscillate my hand like this" will be the new Crank Dat Soulja Boy in about three months.


*steps back*

*lean forward*

*pivots shoulder*

*Heizman*