So my shanking homie, Latarian Milton (Big Ton is what we call him 'round the way) stopped stealing his Granny's car but started beating her ass this past week in your local Wal-Mart.

I ain't really tryna touch on this sticky subject 'cuz my granny reads this blog and she'll beat the shit outta me if I vote yes on "granny beating" and "cooning in the Wal-Mart"... so I'ma just say this:

What the eff they evaluating his mental health for? My Pop-Pop would've just sent me to Joe Jackson's house for a day or two. I woulda stacked some cinderblocks and got hit with shoes until I learned my lesson.

But knowing my Granny, she woulda just fought back if I hit her in Wal-Mart. She woulda picked up some turnip greens and a pack of hogmogs and beat the breaks off my red ass. But on some real shit, I woulda held up for mines.

NEXT!