I'm Not A Goon, I'm A Goblin!

Lil' Creole Pimp Filed Under: Tags:

So BEYONCEITIS think they can fabricate lies and Photoshop "documents" to put ya boy on blast.

These are lies. LIES! LIES! It's beyond bullshit. If I'm not a goon then Wesley Snipes ain't black. If I'm not a goon then Jackie-O ain't slanging that bajingo just to lay down some vocals. If I ain't a goon then so help me God, may a Kelly Rowland album go platinum in less than a week. Them documents ain't real. Where my social security number at?

And you wanna know how I know that Beyonceitis is lying? I ain't even got no cousins named LaKeesha and Damneesha... I got a cousin named LaNeesha Ann DamnKeesha Dereon so you know they lying. It's just like people on the Internet is using me and my likeness just to get laughs. I mean, who does that? Silly. It's silly that's what it is.

Baby Daniel attended Miss Geraldine's School of Business? That's fugazzi! I graduated from SAVVY FATTY's 2Pac Academy and Foods of Many Nations Emporium. And if I didn't may Cassie hold a 10 second note without Autotone.

Baby Daniel made A's? That's fugazzi... that's just not real. Ion't even like A's on my females let 'lone my 'port card. The last time I brought a 'port card home, my Pop-Pop threw his left Stacy Adam at my adams apple. I ain't tryna fight him back 'cause that mustache do not play.

True... I had "worked" in an animal shelter before... but it was just a front so I could sell dogs to Michael Vick. Honest!

True... I've been selling Tee-Tee's used lacefronts to people. Out of my trunk, though. Me and my Granny split the profits fiddy-fiddy. It's our Ballin' On A Budget line aimed at Ashanti & Teairra Mari.

And I ain't never did no interview with Vibe magazine... I meant to kick down Quincy Jones's door for fabricating that shit. I mean you just don't do that to people. That's not right. Luckily, I lost my shank the other day Quincy.

And when me and Uncle Joe got pulled over that was his Flintstone's vitamins... See, I'm a grade A thug ass nigga specializing in fuckery and espionage... I knows how to hide my drugs real proper-like. I know how to take a police dog's scent away with just one look. That's why they ain't found the goods. Don't test my gangsta. You will fail.

 Beyonceitis's head nigga in charge is hereby banned from the Creole Compound for being a hypocrite. As for these lies... Don't believe it until you see it.


In all realness, funniest shit I've read since I discovered Beyonceitis... I almost just gave up on life because my soul was snatched like a gold chain. I've been punk'd

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