Message From The Management

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Readers looka here...

Every now and again some sensitive motherfuckers flood ya inbox with bullshit. It's been a while since I've received blatant hate. Okay, that's a motherfucking lie... I get hated on daily... so I past it down to my readers through blog posts of the every-day fuck-ups of celebrities and especially celebrities (and Kizzy) from the Knowles family.

Supposedly, somebody (not naming names BECAUSE I KNOW WHO YOU IS!) thinks I'm seriously jacking Beyonceitis's style. Okay, send in the clowns... I'm finna call the Bloggers' patent department and ask 'em if homie from Beyonceitis trademarked their style of comedy. No fuck all that... I ain't got time to call up these folks. I'm too busy, copying and pasting, flipping birds, turning tricks, fondling haters' nuts, dumpster diving through Cousin Angie's trashcans and searching Google to find the best voodoo novelty shops in my area. In other words, I got too much shit to do to be jacking anybody's style.

In my humble-even-though-it-doesn't-matter-'cause-just-like-assholes-everybody-has-one-opinion, THE LIL' CREOLE PIMP CHRONICLES (yeah, I linked you back to this site) and BEYONCEITIS'S WIG CRYPT have similar styles in parody but distinct styles in joke delivery.

I'm playing the role of a fucking toddler, who by the way is turning four or five soon (I don't really know... like it matters), so bring ya own beer 'cause we gon' party. Beyonceitis exposes the crystal clear fact that Beyoncé shits on the game on the daily. Janet can sing the national anthem at the Super Bowl with no bra on, no shirt on and Beyoncé will sing the national anthem remixed by Just Blaze at the Pro Bowl in her birthday suit. Beyoncé will shit on her. Rihanna can win seven Grammys this coming award season (sheeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiit) and Matty Matt will buy the Grammy Association and give Beyoncé every damn award, make up categories and shit. Beyoncé will shit on her. Teairra Mari can say the Pledge of Allegiance at your local elementary school's field day and Beyoncé will start a coast-to-coast tour going throughout the country performing the pledge, the national anthem and singing a medley of Destiny's Child's, Destiny's Baby's, Destiny's Stepsister's, Destiny's Half-Brother's Cousin's songs at local elementary and preschools. She will then make this tour worldwide even stopping in the Middle East thus forth bring peace to the current warring countries. Beyoncé will take a diarrhea shit on her. The clock will strike noon... Aretha Franklin will jump the moon and Beyoncé will be waiting on the Asteroid Belt, pants down, ass up after eating tacos and burritos at El Sombero (LaTavia will be her cashier, of course). Beyoncé will take a galaxial shit on her.

You see how I got off-topic, sorta swagger jacking Beyonceitis in the process? Yeah that's signs of how much I don't give a shit who you think I swagger jack. Only reason I made a post about it was on account of the celebrity world lacking the utmost Grade A Fuckery that I'm willing to post.

Kick rocks, shit bricks, and piss tugboats. It's your urethra not mine.

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