Countdown 'Til Shutdown

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The BET Awards Festival of Coons 2K8 is coming in a few days and there are rumors afoot! Usher is s'posed to be opening the show and he does have a song out with Tee-Tee on it. So MAYBE... she'll scream, gyrate and lacefront for the fans next Thursday. Somehow, someway... Tee-Tee done managed to open the show on a yearly basis (well... almost) ever since the first unveiling of said event way back when Mr. Hightower and Ceddy were hosting it. Yep... I'm talking 'bout the time when Kizzy and Millie's presence held her back... but they can only do so much.

Anyways... Tee-Tee shut the show down! And I'm here to commerate.


I'd like to take the time to speculate what she'll wear to the shutdown show.

So far Granny has been making/picking out her outfits. She's already got a few wigs, dresses and hells laid out on the bed like it's School Picture Day. Here are her options:

A blue tube top with "The Roc" logo on it lined with camel fur and macadamia nuts with some redpop coochie cutters with polka dots shaped like Camel's cigarettes on it. She completes this ensemble with a pair of Deroen imitation YSL pumps and of course they were Dereon'd out by adding shark teeth to the stilleto spike. She'll also be sporting her Crazy In Love wig for that nogstalic effect.


An ecru ruffled top straight jacked out of Ike Turner's closet. The sleeves are supposedly made out of sewn together crocodile eyes which start crying when Tee-Tee releases all of that raw emotion. She'll wear this over a skintight, painted on blue jean dress whic was "borrowed" from Zoe Kravitz. She won't wear shoes with this one but she will mos def bust out in some freakum socks. Wig? Oh... you know she gon' bust out in her Rapunzel wig and slap everybody in the front row every time she pivots her neck in a 360 degree angle.


No top for this one... cuz Tee-Tee will be sporting her floor-length Wet-n-Wavy yaki that covers all of her unmentionable places. She will rock her infamous banana skirt but she'll replace the bananas with dildos in anticipation for her unreleased, never before heard single "Plastic, Rubber Ding-a-Lings". She wants to bring some of that 60s/70s/80s flair back on scene so Granny picked out some aquarium platform boots with fresh bitesize trout in the sole to finish the ensemble.


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